On July 9th 2025 my whole world came crashing down around me with one phone call that I received at work. An unknown number ringing me to be told that Adam had been knocked off his motorbike and had died. The scream that left my body was animalistic as I fell to the floor with my whole life crashing down around me.

I had been on the phone to Adam that morning as I was every morning walking from the car to the city centre hospital where I work. The wind was so loud I was struggling to hear him. We ended the phone call as we always did when he was on his bike: “Ride safe – I love you” ” Love you more Sweet”. 5 minutes later he was gone. The man that I had planned my future with wiped from existence in one swift split decision from a stranger.

I think I am still in shock from the trauma of it. Having to see him through a glass window and not being able to touch him was cruel and so desperately unfair. My heart shattered and I had no idea how to survive this. I still don’t but minute by minute, hour by hour I have to.

I decided to do some writing to get the thoughts out of my head – I have done journals, angry venting, poems, grief ramblings and letters to Adam since he died so I decided to start this to give me purpose and try to convey the trauma of losing your partner. My heart has shattered but unfortunately I am not alone in this journey of young widowhood. So if this can make one person feel less alone and keep Adam’s name being spoken then it is worth exposing my complete vulnerability through this life altering journey.